The Biggest Cross-Over Fic in Minnesota part 1
by Faceless and Lone Gunfreak
Summary: Written with the help of our Narc-like friend Falcon. SLASH. This story has everything. Trust me. Everything. I makes sense if you close 1 eye and squint really hard with the other. I suck at summaries. The world is a vampire- we expect to have the self c


Title : The Biggest Cross-Over Fic in Minnesota  
Authors : Langly, Frohike and Byers (Lonegun Freak, Faceless and  
Q_R_WINNER aka Falcon)  
Category : Humor  
Disclaimer : We threw in every friggin' fandom we like. Suffice to say,  
all we own on this filthy ball of death we call Earth is a piece of   
communal underwear, cd's by artists no one else has heard of and   
Rio-oki the evil kitten who feeds on electrical cords and human ankles.  
You want it.  
Summary : Read the fic and find out you mother bastard cheap bastich!  
Authors' Notes : Kurt Cobain lives!  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Casa de Gunmen, 10:13 pm Saturday  
  
Mulder and Scully enter the fetid pit of paranoia that our friendly  
neighborhood   
conspiracy theorists live in.   
" Dudes, you gotta see this! " Langly exclaimed.  
" We've actually created a working holodeck! " Frohike added.  
" Actually, we didn't create it. Apparantly the government has had this  
technology for   
years, and rightly assumed all civilization would stop if the public   
was allowed access   
to it, " Byers corrected them.  
Mulder chortled, "Coolness! Lemmeinlemmeinlemmein!"  
Scully grabbed her partner by the back of his shirt before he got   
another two steps closer   
to the looming machine, "How 'bout,...not, Mulder? I don't want to-"  
Before she could finish her sentence, Mulder pulled Scully into the   
holodeck.....  
  
*INSIDE THE HOLODECK*  
'Uh, Mulder?' Scully said, looking around, 'where are you?'  
'Who are you talking to?' a younger Byers said, stepping out of the   
mist.  
'Uh, no-no one,' Scully replied half dazedly.  
  
**********************************************************************  
'Scully? Scully!' Mulder called.  
'I'm right here, Fox,' a less well-dressed Scully said.  
'Wow,...uh...wait. Scully, you feeling all right?'  
'No, but i think you could fix that.'  
  
****************************************************************************  
  
"What do you think is going on in there?" Frohike asked his companions.  
"Dunno. Could be anything," Byers replied from the couch.  
"Ewwwwwwww," Langly said.  
"You get the cup. I'll get the bobbypin."   
"Uh, guys that won't wor-"  
"SHUDDUP NARC!"  
  
*****************************************************************************  
  
In a galaxy far, far away....  
  
"Spock. come quick-ly. Some strange. Primitive cre-tures have got-ten a hold of.   
The Holo-deck   
technology. Their prim-itive minds may ex-plode. If we. Don't st-o-p them. Their ent-ier race.   
Will   
be. Wiped out. "said Captain Kirk, " And. Get m-e. (dun dun dun) Captain. Crunch. We may need.   
His help."   
" Right o Kirky-poo! To the Vulcan mobile!"  
  
*******************************************************************************  
  
Byers watched as Langly and Frohike attempted to get a video image of what was going on inside  
the Holodeck.  
" OH DEAR SWEET GOD THAT IS SO NOT RIGHT! "  
" I would have bet any amount of money you wouldn't be able to get that to work - " Byers started  
when Frohike interrupted with " Yeah, well, we know * your * gambling track record. "  
" Can't you 2 ever get over that? I paid you the $ 3000 back!...anyway, what's going on in there? "  
Langly recovered from his initial shock at the events inside the Holodeck and replied " Well...  
Mulder's getting a lap dance from Virtual! Scully..."  
" And the real Scully? "  
Langly snickered. " Look for yourself, John-boy. "  
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
The " Star Wars " galaxy far, far away...  
  
" Obi, Yoda has a mission for us. We have stop some primative creatures from desroying their   
planet, " Qui-Gon Jinn said to the younger man curled up next to him. Obi-Wan sighed. " Can we   
screw on the spaceship? "  
" Well...let's just say we'll work on our lightsaber skills. "  
  
*********************************************************************************  
*BACK IN THE HOLODECK*  
  
'Byers,'  
'John. My name is John.'  
'You were wonderful,.....John,' Scully looked over to where Byers had been lying. 'John?'  
'No, it's Lonnie.,' the young man said.  
'Lonnie? Lonnie Jamieson?'  
'The same.'  
Scully squeeled and rolled on her side away from the young Sparta cop, kicking her feet and   
giggling   
wildly.  
  
*********************************************************************************  
'Boy, Dana. That was unexpected. I didn't know you-' Mulder's comment was cut short by a tongue-y   
kiss.  
'Dana? I'm GAY'  
' Oh, really?' said another voice  
'...........Hawkeye?........'  
**********************************************************************************  
Cocksvillie USA  
  
"Super John! Come quick! The Evilness Radar is going CRAZY!" Walrus man yelled, " And   
get Nibblet off me!"   
"Bad Nibblet! You know your with the wrong band, mate?" Super John said, " Heady's probably   
worried sick about ya. Go on now, Shoo."   
" Hey, Geor- I mean Silencer. Can ya proof read this letter for me?" The Nose asked  
Dear Gates, Lucus, carter, Disney + Speilburgh,  
If a horse is a horse of course of course. Where does that leave Gary Coleman?  
~ U.C.C.S + The League of Super Brits  
(unknowingly concerned citizen's sponge)  
"Well, Nose, ya didn't capitalize Carter."   
"He doesn't deserve capitalization. That bastard."  
"Right on, Nose"  
"Why can't ya call me Ringo?"  
"'Cause there can't be 2 Ringo's in this fic can there?"  
"Yeah , I guess. I miss Nibblet."  
"We all do, dear, we all do."  
  
************************************************************************************  
  
"Frohike, get some more ice for Byers! Frohike?" Langly called from the bedroom. He poked his   
head   
out the door when the shorter man didn't answer. Frohike was looking with intent at the vidscreen.  
"Now what's going on?"  
"Uh, Scully's with that police luitenent from In the Heat of the Night,"  
"You mean Jamieson?"  
"Yeah. And Mulder is...uh....ewww."  
"What? What is it?"  
"......yech...Mulder is with Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H"  
"OH MY GOD! MULDER'S GAY?!"  
"Yeah, didn't you know that?" Byers said, coming into the room.  
"No, we didn't," Frohike and Langly huffed in unison.  
"Well, I did. I'd have thought he would've told you guys, too. Oh, well."  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
*100 MILES ABOVE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE*  
  
:There is a huge crash as the Starship Enterprise collides with Colony D28:  
  
"What the hell was that?!" Duo cried as he tried to maintain his balance.  
"Something must have hit the colony," Quatre said.  
"No shit, Einstein," Wui-fei remarked as he got up off the floor.  
"Take it easy, you guys. Heero's up there. let's just radio him and see what just happened,"   
Trowa said, turning on the CB.  
"Heero? Come in Heero."  
"I'm here, Trowa."  
"What just happened?"  
"A huge ship just collided with the colony. I'll put you through to the captain."  
  
***********************************************************************************  
  
The flaming wreckage of both the colony and the Enterprise crashed in front of a small  
Quick-Stop in New Jersey. 2 guys ( Jay and Silent Bob ) stared at it.  
" Did you fucking see that? Man that's some fucked up shit - " Silent Bob shut Jay up with a kiss.  
The Voice of God ( aka the Metatron ) appeared.  
" God has another job for you, prophets. You have to stop 3 men from desroying the Earth. "  
" Oh, fuck, what the shit is with these goddam fallen angel fucks desroying shit - "  
" They're not angels. They're worse - computer geeks. "  
Silent Bob prevented another onslaut of babbling profanity from Jay by putting his hand over   
Jay's  
mouth.   
" Are you willing to fufill your task? " the Metatron asked.  
Silent Bob nodded and tried to ignore Jay's tongue on his hand.  
" Very well " and the 2 stoners appeared in the Gunmen's apartment.  
TBC…….  
We're stopping this now. (Mainly because it lacks plot.) At the moment I'm suffering from a huge   
ass sprayable cheese shit hangover. Oh, that and I don't know what happened to the others.  
FALALALALALALA!  
Merry Fucking Christmas.  
~ Faceless  



End file.
